by Jaz James
Hey Love,
Parenting is a delicate balance, and when your child’s life choices differ from your own values or expectations, it can feel even more complex. For parents of strippers, the challenge lies in maintaining a loving relationship while setting boundaries that protect your emotional and spiritual well-being. Boundaries are not about creating distance or punishing your child; they are about fostering a relationship rooted in love, respect, and authenticity. Here’s how you can set healthy boundaries while staying engaged in your child’s life.
Define Your Convictions with Clarity
Healthy boundaries begin with understanding your personal convictions. Take time to reflect on what’s most important to you spiritually, emotionally, and practically. These convictions will help you determine what behaviors or situations you’re comfortable engaging in and where you need to draw the line.
For instance, you might decide that while you’re committed to maintaining a relationship with your child, you’re not comfortable visiting their workplace or financially supporting their choices. Be honest with yourself about what feels right for you, and seek wisdom through prayer or trusted counsel. Remember, boundaries are not about rejecting your child—they’re about honoring your own values while preserving your ability to stay present and loving in their life.
Communicate Boundaries with Love
When setting boundaries, approach the conversation with love and a focus on the relationship. Instead of framing boundaries as rules or ultimatums, explain them as ways to maintain mutual respect and understanding. For example, you might say, “I love you deeply, and I want to be part of your life. At the same time, I need to be honest about what I feel comfortable with, and I hope we can find a way to honor each other’s perspectives.”
Be specific about what your boundaries are and why they matter to you. Your child may not agree with or fully understand your perspective, but communicating with kindness and respect can help avoid misunderstandings or unnecessary conflict.
Stay Engaged with Intentional Love
Boundaries are not walls—they’re guardrails that allow relationships to thrive in a healthy way. While it’s important to honor your convictions, it’s equally essential to remain engaged in your child’s life. Find ways to show love and support that align with your boundaries, such as checking in regularly, spending quality time together, or offering encouragement and prayer.
Even small gestures, like sending a text to say you’re thinking of them or inviting them for coffee, can communicate that you value and care for them deeply. Avoid focusing solely on the aspects of their life that concern you; instead, celebrate their strengths and share in the parts of their life that bring them joy.
Balance Grace and Truth
Jesus modeled the perfect balance of grace and truth. He offered unconditional love while still speaking truth into people’s lives. As a parent, you can strive to follow His example by showing grace toward your child without compromising your beliefs.
Let your child know that while you may not agree with all their choices, your love for them is unwavering. Avoid shaming or criticizing, as these can create unnecessary distance and hurt. Instead, offer gentle guidance and encouragement, trusting that God is working in their life in ways you may not see.
Trust the Process
Setting boundaries while staying engaged is not always easy, and it may take time to find the right balance. Be patient with yourself and your child as you navigate this journey. Trust that your love, coupled with healthy boundaries, can create a relationship that is both respectful and deeply connected.
As Proverbs 22:6 reminds us, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” While the path may not always look like what you envisioned, your influence, love, and prayers can have a lasting impact. By setting healthy boundaries and staying present, you’re not only honoring your own convictions but also creating a foundation of love and trust that will strengthen your relationship for years to come.
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Jaz James is the director of Strip Church and founder of Lace Warriors, a strip club ministry that serves over 200 entertainers in West Texas and Northern Mexico.